Happy Valentine's Day!...I think.

I was about ready to wish that I had a date for Valentine's Day, when the thought came to me...I would have to buy my date a gift, and show some form of appreciation. That is alot of Responsibility! Then I thought well, it is only one day after all, but that obviously isn't true! If I had a date, I couldn't dissapear for a few days like I like doing without telling her. I would have to always be texting and checking e-mail. I would have to be ready to give HALF of my life as I know it to...my date!

So, after this Revelation that I would have to commit myself to a relationship if I had one, I tried to figure out why people do it. You know, why do they willingly bring all of this trouble and expense onto themselves? It seems like it would put a damper on having fun!

Well, I think I have it all figured out. Ladies! Don't read what I am going to say next because it is gauranteed that you will automatically fall in love with me!!!

I discovered that people who are in LOVE don't notice that they are doing stuff, like stopping dead in the middle of a heated basketball game to reply to a text, or stopping dead in the middle of an engaging conversation with a client because someone with the same name as their significant other (herebye known as S.O.) on their name tag just walked by. These people in love (hereafter known as P.I.L.'s) are CLUELESS that they are missing out on life as they used to know it! They don't care! Value has shifted from going about important daily duties to dwelling on a single S.O.'s memory. Crazy ya know?

So what happens? I have tried to observe the change that takes place here...this morphing from just an average guy, or average girl (hereafter known as A.G.'s) into a full blown P.I.L.; Going through some shape-shifting metaphysics and coming out with changed values and a new perspective on life! What sort of power does a potential S.O. have on all those poor A.G.'s out there?

Take Jimmy for instance. Jimmy is a normal A.g.; Totally oblivious to life, just going about his thing. Here he is taking a day at a mall, just hanging out with a few of his friends in the Food Court. He goes up to the window at Orange Julius eyes glued to the menu on the wall, trying to keep all of his saliva in his mouth, and mentally calculating how much a Tropical Fruit Julius with a large Chili Cheese Dog and small fries would cost. He finally gets it, processes all the information and looks down to give his order...and he forgets everything. His name, his phone number, the food he was about ready to savor, EVERYTHING just gone...poof! That saliva that he was so carefully controlling is now sliding out the corner of his mouth and onto his shirt. Embarrasing? Shocking? Dissorienting? WELL YEAH! This A.G. has just become a P.I.L.!

Well the young lady behind the counter knows exactly what is going on. The fact that there is a mentally imbalanced guy staring at her with drool on his shirt doesn't really bother her. She is enjoying it. Girls somehow make the transition from an A.G. into a P.I.L rather gracefully. Once they find the right guy, they know exactly how to change him from a smart, witty individual to a drooling retard, and back again. The problem is that us guys can't resist the metaphysics going on! Some of us recognize it when it happens, and can try to control the neurological breakdown, but the symptoms can't be completely managed. We will still forget what we were going to say, and end up saying something really really stupid, and the duration of the mental collapse is characterised by a perpetual daze.

Alas! Such is life! Well, this A.G. is going to sign off for now. I hope that I was able to make some sense about what was going on in my mind. All you potential S.O.'s out there please be merciful to me! Thanks for reading,

-David

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